Wow

One of the groups I follow on Twitter is a site called Scarleteen, a site providing fresh and real outlooks towards sex for youth and those not fitting the hetero or gendernormative standards. While I always love the articles they post, an excerpt from "An Immodest Proposal" really struck out to me. In it the writer is talking about a healthier perspective for young women in regards to their first relationships and sexual experiences, and this really opened a paradigm shift for me.

"Without the assurance or expectation that she has an age-old script to follow that wasn’t written by her, she not only knows she will have to be more creative sexually than women before her, she’s looking forward to it. She has no expectation of being asked to perform or of asking a partner to perform: her expectations are all about both of them engaging in expression, not performance. She’s not expecting porn or a romance novel: she’s expecting an interpretive dance. That also helps a lot when it comes to feeling comfortable about her body from the onset: she knows that the unique way that she looks is part of what makes sex so individual for her and her partners."

If you were to ask me I would probably say that I'm a rather enlightened gal when it comes to these things, but this paragraph made me realize how far I am from being truly comfortable in my own body. I now realize how much I've let myself suffer by refusing to be comfortable with my body being how it is, and how my wishing to be different kept me from being comfortable with partners who said they liked me the way I am. This will be my new project - to learn how to reject the scripts of those who came before me and find my own way so that I can be the best partner possible, in and out of the bedroom. To remove myself from fear could open the door to a whole new world, one which I hope will be more fulfilling then the world I'd be leaving behind.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/an_immodest_proposal