Meditation?

It always starts out the same. I find myself floating in a void, everything around me empty. My body pulses with the energy of the cosmos, and I let myself bask in the total power which I wield. I slowly go through the various forms of energy, bathing my body in their light and letting it permeate the emptiness so that in can reach everything seen and unseen, emitting and absorbing as I go through the color spectrum - red for love and passion, orange for the energy that allows us to function, yellow for the happiness and joy that makes life worth while, green for the healing life force that lies all around us, blue for the serenity that arises from self realization, and finally violet for the creative inspiration and intuitiveness that makes us truly divine beings.

After the last of the colors is brought back into my being, I feel the cosmic energy churning within my being, and so I release the white hot light into the void, feeling the change as everything is created around me. When the extraneous light dissipates, I find myself in the same place I always do- floating in a pool, unusually calm considering the cascading waterfall to which it is attached. I soak for awhile, enjoying the comfort of the cooling waters below me and the warming sun above me. Finally, I swim to shore, where I emerge fully dry and walk among the pristine rain forest that surrounds me. I always know exactly where I must travel, and although I always walk in different directions for different amounts of time, I always reach the same clearing, where I see him.

He is always meditating, and looks exactly how he is portrayed in images when he is a yogi - his black hair long and matted, adorned with the crescent moon, tiger skin wrapped around his waist, his body covered in ashes and surrounded by snakes. I sit down across from him, knowing the serpents pose no danger to me, and meditate with him as long as he feels is needed. It feels as though eons go by, but it still feels like too short a time. When the time of silence is seen as enough, he opens his eyes, and I instinctively know to open mine as well. He never speaks, but he never needs to - everything I need to know is automatically given to me, my questions answered before I can even ask. It is hard to know how long we sit and look at each other, but when he feels I've learned all I can for the time he touches my forehead and I awake, my entire being filled with feelings of serenity and love.

Sometimes there are slight changes - the presence of Nandi, the amount of snakes present, once I climbed a mountain to meditate with him, and once Shakti was there as well - but the outcome is always the same. I always find myself with the answers to my questions, a renewed sense of self worth, and a feeling of peace and love which is tied to the power that exists within my being.

I know that this is not how most people meditate, and I even doubt that meditation is an accurate term to describe the intricacies of what I experience, but I wouldn't give it up for the world. I know there are some who may mock my description of my experience with what I consider as the divine, but I refuse to let that fear of judgment hold me back any longer. I am not ashamed of my religiosity, and I wish to share my experience so that others may feel like sharing theirs as well.