Winter

... has been crazy. Not sure why, it just has been.

I don't know how much longer I'll be continuing this kind of blog, I have been finding that I have little to say lately. I guess that's the benefit of finally seeing my friends again - when I talk with people IRL I find less need to write about the things that are on my mind.

This isn't to say that I'm going to give up writing altogether, I just think that I'll spend more time on my cooking blog and may only update this one when I have the random urge to post something non-food related. Who knows what I'll end up doing.

Why Does Modern Music Make No Sense?

There used to be a time when popular music told a story. When you heard a song come on the radio, you could be transported to a place that was beloved and good, where emotions welled forth from a bottomless well and nothing was impossible. Whether the song was something simple and silly, like "Yellow Submarine" and "Brand New Key", or if it was meaningful and romantic like "When I Fall In Love" and As Long As I Live", songs had a deepness and a glow that has vanished in popular music today.

While one can find powerful songs on occasion through the various sub genres and obscure artists, nothing that the radio stations play today holds the kernel of truth that was present in the songs of years past. Instead, today's music is about slutty dancing, money, sex, drugs, and the various combinations thereof. I don't care about how gangsta you think you are, and I don't care about how you waste money on things which are of no benefit to the rest of humanity.



Will always be better than

Old Poems I've Found In My Room

Darkness
Spiraling towards the abyss
That remains in our mind.
Uneasiness settles
Tentatively reach out
Stroke the night
Feel it on your skin.
Embrace the blackness
And forget.
Nothing to fear
To love or to hate
Just empty solitude
In the warm onyx breeze
Contentment yours.

Just as you learn
To accept tranquility
In comes paralyzing
Cold and brutal daggers of
Light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Come a little closer darling
Let me hold you in my arms
For when you are beside me
My soul begins to warm

Basking in the glow
Of happiness within
To stay this way forever
I'd give anything to win.

I try to act all nonchalant
But I feel you see right through me
You seem to read my very thought
On how my emotions yearn to be free

I don't understand what it is you do
To make my mask come all unglued
Whatever it is, please don't stop
For nothing else could ever top.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A pause as our lives flow quickly on by:
Do we enjoy the love and times we share?
Savor each moment and show how we care?
Or is it squandered then left out to die,
And we end up confused and asking "why"?
Instead of laying our heart and soul bare
We build up walls without doors, hardly fair
To show who we are we're too scared to try.

Then lucky am I to have someone who
Helps set me free, to have myself be true.
Knowing each other in the love we give
Understanding for holdups we now have
A deeper connection, a soothing salve,
Letting us be able to love and live.

I Don't Trust Food Reviews

I used to trust sites like Yelp to find good food close by, but experiences have shown that I really need to do a deeper analysis of who is reviewing the restaurant and what they are saying versus what I should interpret their posting to mean.
For example, I recently visited two different thai restaurants with a date - Bamboo Thai and Bangkok Spices. Both of these places had the same rating (4 out of 5 stars), with one deserving a 5 and the other, a 3. I got the same dish at both of these restaurants, so it wasn't a matter of preferring one type of thai curry over the other, it was a matter of flavor.
The first place I visited was Bangkok Spices, which is in an old Pizza Hut building on El Cajon Blvd. My date and I started out with the Tom Kah Soup, a coconut soup with a large amount of veggies which managed to be both sweet and spicy. I noticed many reviewers complained about a sheen of red chili oil on the soup, but I've accepted this to be standard on Thai and other SE Asian soups, and all it takes is a quick stir to make everything even and delicious. I got the Musman curry at a 4 out of 10,
and my date got the Drunken Noodles (don't remember the spice level),

both dishes vegetarian. We got so much food that I had enough leftover curry for two meals, and it was so good that I didn't mind. The vegetables were cooked just right, and the curry was so flavorful that I felt sad to ask for a box instead of finishing it. My date assures me that his drunken noodles were really good too, but I wouldn't know as I was too busy enjoying my own food to really test his (I only snuck a couple of bites). I know that the reason that Bangkok Spices got a 4 instead of a 5 is because of the service, but for an asian restaurant the service was actually pretty good. Besides, I'd take good food and bad service over bad food and good service any day.


Our next thai excursion was to Bamboo Thai Cuisine, located in a strip mall on University Ave. I was very hungry by the time we got to the restaurant, so it is saying something when I say I was unimpressed, as things tend to taste much better when I haven't eaten. I got the Musman curry again at a 4 out of 10, and the date got yellow curry fried rice, and both of us felt let down with our meal, as both were rather bland and unimpressive. I didn't care to try his (which is again saying something, as I am a notorious food thief), but my vegetables were overcooked (carrots should never be soggy) and the curry sauce was incredibly bland, no flavor and little heat. I would expect this from a mediocre yellow curry, but not my beloved Musman!! They then gave us this weird complimentary dessert, which was sweet but again not very flavorful. I would give them a 3 in hopes that this was just a bad night on their part, but I have no interest in testing that theory with a return trip.

My later readings of reviews led me to the conclusion that those giving high ratings were white people who didn't eat much Thai food before and therefore found this place flavorful and full of friendly staff. As I said before, I don't care about service, because as long as you serve me my food warm then you are getting a good tip, everything else is unnecessary. I'd rather be talking with my company and enjoying my food, not answering a waiter's annoying questions every few minutes.

This compared with my Indian food experiences has led me to the conclusion that people on the internet are not to be trusted, and care must be taken when selecting places for yummy food.

I am Not My Vagina

The Vagina Monologues is being performed on campus again (they seem to do this every semester), and so every day on my way to classes I am barraged by women standing in booths, yelling at me and my fellow classmates things like "love your vaginas" or "save the vaginas", referring to low self esteem and violence against women I presume. While I understand that the performance is meant to help women learn to love their bodies and to help them feel a sense of empowerment, I cannot help but feel ire towards these women. My intense feelings of frustration and anger towards their message can be best summarized in one phrase, stated so bluntly in the title of this post:

I am not my vagina.

No one is. To say that the one thing that identifies and unifies women is our genitalia is not only short sighted, but misogynistic as well. Yes, I just called the feminists in charge of The Vagina Monologues misogynists, and I feel I have a good reason. Not only are they completely ignoring the narratives of women without vaginas and the men who are born with them, but they are telling their audiences that the only real things that matter are what is between our legs. It is bad enough that society tries to define me by their rigid roles of gender, the last thing I need is for these alleged feminists to help them along. I may be lucky in that I identify as the gender I was assigned, but as any trans person could attest to, the presence of my vagina has little or nothing to do with my identification as a woman. Its presence may assist the cis-centric public in their supposed need to validate my chosen identity, but it has no sway in how I see myself. If I woke up tomorrow with a penis and a y chromosome, I would still see myself as a woman, and more importantly, I would still see myself as me. To claim that we as humans are so limited in our self expression that we have to tie all sense of identity to our genitalia is shameful, and I hope that no one feels that their gender is all that defines them.

To then argue that my vagina automatically gives me a shared commonality with all other vagina possessors is a fallacy of the most ghastly kind. I am more than my gender. While you may look at me and rightly assume my female status by my feminine attributes, those who care to know me can attest that I am so much more than that. I may be a vagina possessing woman, but I am also a bookworm. A crocheter. A sci fi fan. A thrift store bargain lover. An ice cream aficionado. An assault survivor. A vegetarian. A pirate supporter in the epic Pirate v Ninja debate. A Hindu. A viral video lover. A devourer of thai food. A believer of ghosts. A sudoku champion. A statue collector. A listener of blues and big band music. A blogger. A Californian. A foreign movie watcher. A webcomic reader. An occasional drinker of Southern Comfort. An environmentalist. A best friend. A realistic optimist. A pro-choicer. A smart blonde. A future teacher. A nerd. A reader of romance novels. And so much more.

None of these things require or in the slightest way involve my possession of a vagina. So please, people of The Vagina Monologues, stop assuming that my vagina is my one defining quality. I don't have to love my vagina to love who I am.

And for the record, my vagina does not sing, or wear hats, or feel emotions or speak or feel the need to be celebrated. It is not the Bermuda Triangle. It is not a flower. It is just a minor part of my body, and it will never be the one thing that defines me as who I am.

I am not my vagina

I am Back!

It has been a long trip my friends, but I am glad to say that I have been granted a temporary freedom from writing papers, and so I am ready to celebrate by, you guessed it- MORE WRITING!!

I am weird, I completely understand. :)

The next few days will be filled with things that I've scribbled thoughts about while in the midst of paper extravaganzas, and once things get caught up I'll be able to write about things as they come once again. Not that anyone really cares, but I just felt that giving a heads up would be a nice thing to do.

November is "School Will Try To Kill Me" Month

I have been and will be super busy this month. I wrote two papers this week, and have six more due before Thanksgiving break. If this doesn't sound like too much, just remember that I also need to:

1. Take 2 Spanish tests
2. Work on a Spanish essay assignment (Not included in official count because it's shorter than the others)
3. Figure out the Thanksgiving menu and go grocery shopping (we're having the meal at my/my sister's apartments this year)
4. Start studying for my CSETS
5. Get my security clearance
6. Do my weekly Spanish assignments (ranging from 5-17 sections per week)
7. Write my questions for the Spanish oral final
8. Start my Classroom Observation essay
9. Make time for persistent friends' social obligations

I don't deal with stress well, so oftentimes number 9 gets ignored since I don't like people, but I feel guilty when I let my friends down so I try to fit things in.

The reason I'm complaining about all of this is to kind of let people know why I'll most likely be very scarce in posts. I know this doesn't matter, as no one really reads this (especially not regularly), but if there is someone out there who does I figure I should let them know that I'm busy, not dead.

I Love Bad Music

I recently had a Youtube-link off with a couple of friends via Skype the other day, and it caused me to realize that some of my favorite links are of what is possibly the worst music ever made. I love a bad commercial as much as the next guy or gal (who doesn't love hits like "Ugly Furniture"?)



But it's the amazingly bad music videos that can make me believe that we truly live in a beautiful world. With this in mind, I decided to give myself a writing break and post my five favorite bad/weird music videos. I want to point out that some of these aren't necessarily bad, but all are ones that make me wonder about the sanity of the world in which we live. I hope you enjoy!

1. Leonard Nimoy - "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins


2. Zlad - "Elektronik Supersonik"


3. Prabhu Deva in Kadhlan - "Mukkala Mukkabula"


4. Eduard Khil - "Trololo"


5. "Day in the Decade" Beatles Tribute Segment from 1977 Rolling Stone Anniversary, featuring Ted Neeley

Yam Day!

My lovely mother called me a couple days ago to inform me that yams were currently 19 cents a pound at Wally's, and at my prompting she delivered around two pounds of orange-y goodness to my apartment. As I am blessed with an abundance of this delicious root vegetable, I declared Friday a cooking day devoted to yams, and have enjoyed myself immensely with the fruits of my labors.

First I made
which were amazing, though mine did not look nearly as pretty (halfway through I gave up and wrapped them like egg rolls). I used spring roll sheets for the dough, and ended up making two different fillings, both of which were very yummy. First I boiled and mashed my sweet potatoes, adding a little bit of milk and butter to the mix. Then I split the mixture into two halves, and into the first half I added sauteed garlic, onions, and cumin seeds, along with curry powder, ginger, and some chili powder. In my second mixture I made a sort of dessert samosa, with cinnamon, ginger, brown sugar and raisins. I put them on a greased cookie sheet, brushed some oil on the top so they would brown, and in the 375 degree oven they went, on one side for 10 min and flipped for another 5. Both turned out well, though I think for the non-dessert samosas I may need to add chilies or something for next time.

Next I made
a coconut yam Thai curry, which was amazing. I cooked my onion, garlic, and cumin seeds first, then added the red curry paste, ginger, peas, and my diced yams. I cooked them for about 4 minutes, then added coconut milk and a bit of soy sauce for a bit of a kick. It was so yummy you guys, I have to make this again soon. Mmmm so good. Out of all the brands of coconut milk I've used so far, I have to say Orchid's is my favorite. The milk was rich and fragrant and everything tasted sweet, slightly spicy, and completely delicious.

And last, but certainly not least, I decided to round off my yam experience with

candied yams! I boiled 3 diced yams til they were soft, then added them into a 9x9 casserole dish with 1 cup pineapple, 1/2 cup brown sugar, cinnamon, and raisins, then baked it in a 350 degree oven for about 40 minutes. Technically I should have waited longer, but I didn't want to!! They were yummy.

I used a total of 8 yams today, and while I could have found a recipe for my remaining 2, I decided to call it a day. Yay leftovers!!

Hey There Water Brothers!

On Saturday I helped a good friend grade math quizzes at my old high school, and afterwords he let me borrow Stranger in a Strange Land, as he had it on his desk and I've been interested in reading it for some time. For those who don't know, Stranger in a Strange Land is written by Robert Heinlein, one of the greatest science fiction writers of all time, and Stranger in a Strange Land is one of his most popular works. The story is of Valentine Michael Smith, a human raised by Martians who comes to Earth and spreads a lesson of deeper understanding and of love. It's not only a very well known book in the sci-fi community, but is one of the more important books in the polyamory community, a fact which I teased my professor about, I'll admit.

Now, this book was really good, and there were a lot of interesting concepts that the author put out, but I gotta be honest, I was more interested in his concept that some languages can convey the subtleties of human emotions and love better than others, which I don't really think is exactly what Heinlein was going for when it comes to the overall intent of his novel. I really did like the "water brothers" aspect, and wish that there truly was a way in which we could grow like that as a community. Not just in the free love aspect, but more importantly in the undying bonds of brotherhood aspect.

This link isn't exactly relevant to the book, but it ties in with the novel's poly theme, and the song ran through my head the entire time I read it, so I felt I could share.

Come on, Obama! Get with the program!

Today I read a NY Times article entitled "A Question of Appearances- Obama Will Bypass Sikh Temple on Visit to India" . This set off a LOT of emotions in me, and I'm currently trying my hardest to not start ranting about idiotic Americans whose biases prevent any real positive change from occurring in the world, but I have to warn you that I may lose this battle quickly.

For those not in the know, President Obama is currently planning a trip to India, where he will try to strengthen political ties while visiting Mumbai and Delhi. While I take great offense to his exclusion of Southern cities (Bangalore is the technological center of India guys! Come on!!), I can understand why he may have done so. After all, if the Hindi-centric Indian government ignores the importance of the South Indian states, then it's not surprising that our government would do so as well.

What really disappointed me was the government's final decision to not visit the Golden Temple, not because of time restraints, but because of the issue of head coverings. The Golden Temple is a Sikh establishment, and because of this they require that heads be covered when inside as a sign of respect and modesty in this very sacred place. Baseball caps don't work, one must tie a cloth over ones head, as the tying of the cloth is seen as important as it is not easily removed, making the sign of respect a deliberate act. Unfortunately, the modern American public is full of idiots, who are so convinced that our President is a Muslim (why is that even a problem anymore?) that any image of him wearing a turban will cause panic in the streets. It is a sad thing to say, but our society has become so moronic that it cannot realize that people other than Muslims wear turbans, and that many of them probably don't even know who Sikhs are or what they stand for.

I am very much hoping that the President will change his mind and choose to visit this holy and important Indian landmark, for the sake of all intelligent Americans and for the underrepresented Sikh diaspora around the world.


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/20/world/asia/20india.html?_r=3&scp=1&sq=golden%20temple&st=cse

Varun's Back!

For the past several weeks my good friend Varun was off in India due to a family emergency, which made me super sad, as he was a really nice boy and I worried for his Daddy, who seemed like a fun guy. Luckily everything turned out well, and his Dad is feeling good, which means that as of this Sunday Varun's been home!! Yay!!

I'm surprised the school was okay with him leaving for such a long time, but apparently they were totally understanding, and even wrote him a letter so that he wouldn't have trouble with customs or immigration or whoever it is that doesn't like people traveling willy-nilly. This is great, because I've had some friends experience visa issues when traveling home, and the last thing I would want is for another friend to be stuck on the other side of the world.

This seems like a short post, so I've decided to tell you a fun Varun story. I met Varun on OKC, an online dating site. We chatted for a couple hours, then I logged off in an attempt to go to bed. Unfortunately I couldn't sleep, and logged back in at 1 am, only to see that he was still online! We chatted for another hour, then decided to meet up, as I was hungry and he wasn't planning on sleeping. So we met up around 3 am (I decided to take a shower so I'd be ready for the school day), and we drove to 7-11 (I wanted a soda), then just walked around chatting til around 6 am, when we went to The Living Room Cafe so we could grab breakfast. We hung around there til around 7:30, when he dropped me off at school so I could go to my 8 am class. I was very impressed that for a guy who spent almost 10 hours chatting/hanging out with me and insisted on buying my breakfast, all he wanted from me was a hug. Such a sweet boy.

Cooking Experiments

So the other day I was hungry and in the mood for cooking, but didn't know what I could make, as a busy schedule has prevented me from being able to go to the store to buy groceries. Scrounging around on recipe search engines, I was reminded of the traditional white people food standby - the casserole. I have only made green bean casseroles during Thanksgiving, so I wasn't really sure as to what kinds of things one puts in a casserole, but I wanted to see what it was like so I figured I might as well give it a shot.

Remembering a friend's advice that a casserole is pretty much meat + starch + sauce covered in a bread, I decided to see what items I had in my possession. I found some ground soy in my freezer, along with frozen peas and corn, which I decided could work as a sauce. As someone had mentioned the concept of a Mexican Shepherd's Pie to me, I decided that spices were needed, and found a packet of Taco Seasoning which I decided to throw in. I have to admit I was kind of ghetto in this cooking experiment, as I nuked my frozen ingredients so I could mix the spices easier, but I thought it'd be quicker then cooking it on the stove. Then I looked for my binding liquid, and settled on a can of tomato sauce, as it would work better with taco seasonings than creamed potato soup.

After placing this concoction in a casserole dish I looked for what item to put on top. The recommendation for Mexican casserole is cornbread mix, but I didn't have any so I decided to improvise and use garlic cheddar biscuit mix, which was great cuz it was the only mix that didn't require eggs or milk (I really need to go to the store). I put it in my 375 degree oven for half an hour, and then dug in. It was good enough, though I think if I was to do this again I would have more soy and less biscuit. Just my preference. :)

I think this cooking experience has left me feeling the whitest I have in a really long time.

Philosophy Blah

So, I have a friend who's all about Nietzsche, thinking he's big shit and all that. I guess he's okay, but I just never really got into him much, as I feel he's kind of full of himself. Nietzsche's big thing is his whole "life altering" statements, which are supposed to cause people to analyze their current thinking and blah blah blah. My friend sent me a list of 40 of Nietzche's statements which are claimed to be "belief shaking", but most of them are what I find rather bland and not surprising in the least, like Number 3 - "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently," or Number 16 - "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages". Out of these forty, there are only two statements which I think people really should pay attention to:

4. There are no facts, only interpretations.

and

35. There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.

I feel that when one takes numbers 4 and 35 to heart, we can learn how to better understand the people with whom we share the world, and eventually can learn to better understand ourselves. By remembering that everything we think we know is influenced by our biases and interpretations, we can hopefully remember that everyone else's opinions are altered just as much as ours, and maybe this can help us better understand those whose world views we find odd or possibly unacceptable in our current paradigm. How much better would the world be if we stopped trying to fit everyone else into our views of what is "right" and instead accept that we can live differently from each other and still find common ground in happiness?

When one adds this viewpoint to #35's claim that our bodies know more than our minds, then true change can really take place. Instead of trying to regulate our bodies and the bodies of others by what one claims is "moral", "virtuous", or simply "right", we may instead realize that our bodies are naturally inclined to certain things, and by trying to deny the body of what's right we can ultimately harm a person and keep them from reaching their full potential. While I'm not saying we should all live our lives in a constant state of gluttony or debauchery, I think that accepting that our bodies each have different needs and that a cookie cutter philosophy towards life cannot let anybody live a truly fulfilling life, whether it is spiritually, sexually, morally, or philosophically. There is no right or wrong, there is only action and reaction. Positive and negative is merely in the eye of the beholder.

Old Poems From My Old Site

Determinedly I travel,
Climbing towards the heavens.
Dare I reach the stars?
While I know I cannot touch them
I would rather be burned
Then deny myself the effort.

The siren call of their brilliance
Can cause the most logical of minds
To go astray
And cast
Their thoughts
To the wind.
Their white-hot passion
Holds a constant reminder
Deep in their tantalizing song-


Love hurts even the strongest
But the pleasure is worth the pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Come with me and prowl the night
We'll make the innocent cower in fright
Let's stalk the streets without a care
Ignore those who tremble, point and stare

We'll loudly bay to the full-lit moon
Hunt for our meals in the foggy gloom.
Eat our fill, and when we're done,
We'll scare the others just for fun.

And when our wonderlust is sated
Our passion filled, our needs abated,
We'll start the path to the long way home
Til we once more feel the need to roam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's run away in the night
For a week-long romantic tryst
We'll survive on passion and love
Until the world we start to miss.

Let's run away in the night
For a seaside rendezvous.
We'll spend a month as tourists
Reinventing me and you.

Let's run away in the night
For a year-long hideaway.
Work at dive bars and gas stops
Until we can't wait to leave the fray.

Let's run away in the night
Spend our life in old Bombay.
Let's change our names and forget our past
While we we get happy, old and gray.

Let's run away in the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knights fight for honor and glory
Slaves search for a way to be free
Young wizards discover great magic
And mermaids become foam in the sea

Some tell of struggle and misery
Others boast of triumphs and fame
Liars, cheaters, lovers and millionaires
All try to cash in on their name.

Present day vampires meet futuristic elves
Aliens live among cavemen and kings
Men can climb walls and shoot lasers
Women fight dragons and grow wings

The future, the past, the present collide
The truths and falsehoods together all blend
Magical though these worlds may all be
They are only ours on a lend.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once I thought I knew everything
The right gestures to make and songs to sing
I was basking in joy, in life I was bold
Did whatever I pleased, ignored all I'd been told.
Blinded by my ego, I simply failed to see
How fast my time was devoured by the ever hungry Kali.

No matter how greatly I plea or I beg
She refuses to stop til her needs are all fed.
I curse myself for being so blindsided and dumb
In fear for the future, I now lay awake numb
If only I used used wisely the days of my youth
Instead of wasting them in acts both odd and uncouth.

I know I cannot laze around and reminisce
Focusing on options lost and opportunities missed
Instead I should look at what now remains
And all of the joys that my life still retains
The future must be seen as one most opportune
Lest negativity cause my remaining days end too soon.

Blog Action Day 2010 - Water

Water. A vital part of everyone's daily existence (and not just because it keeps us from getting too stinky), the right to accessing clean, safe drinking water should be one of those unalienable rights that we all have by virtue of being citizens of the planet Earth. Unfortunately, almost 1 in 8 people on the planet do not have access to this very important, life giving substance - that's almost a billion people! The lack of basic sanitation that clean water provides causes approximately 80% of all diseases in the world, resulting in more deaths than anything else, including war.

We have come so far in the world technologically, it boggles the mind to see our world's children dying of diseases that could be completely preventable, like dysentery or diarrhea. After all, it should not be hard to realize how important water is to the preservation of life, and we should all be aware of how precious this life source can be. Waters as friends of man give full protection to his progenies (Rig Veda Samhita vi-50-7), and we should all be able to see how much farther the developing nations could advance if they did not have to struggle daily for the ability to get something to drink that is clean and safe.

Conserving water at home is an important first step, but it is only the beginning in creating a better world. We spend $5 for a coffee at Starbucks, how much are we willing to spend to save the life of a child? How about an entire community?

http://www.waterforpeople.org/
http://www.charitywater.org/
http://www.watercharity.org/
http://www.un.org/waterforlifedecade/
http://www.water1st.org/
http://blueplanetnetwork.org/
http://www.h2oafrica.org/
http://www.wateraid.org/
http://www.waterforpeople.org/extras/playpumps/case-foundation-partnership.html

GMOs, WTF

I am officially anti-GMOs.

GMOs, for those who do not know, are Genetically Modified Organisms, foods which have been altered on the DNA level to be frost resistant, stay fresher longer, or even be brighter in color. While most people don't know or care much about GMOs, thinking that they must be safe if the government lets them be sold in markets, there is a dark side to this agricultural revolution which cannot be ignored. These products are sold to us untested and unregulated, and it not only harms the lives of the farmers who rely on these crops, but it harms our health as well.

My biggest fear is of GMO corn and soybeans, which are in almost all packaged food sold today. With over 90% of all of America's soybeans the GM Round Up Ready variety sold by Monsanto and corn modified to be Round Up Ready and pesticide producing, I can only worry as to what that does to ones body in the long term. When plants are made to be Round Up Ready, they're made to be resistant to herbicides, which are made as strong as possible in order to kill anything that the farmer doesn't want to grow. But by putting that high amount of chemical toxins into our environment and ground, we're not only poisoning our land and water supply, but creating "superweeds" which will result in the formation of even stronger chemicals, harming us even further. These herbicides harm more than weeds, decimating frog populations, swallowtail butterflies, and ladybugs, all of which are helpful to local ecosystems by helping eat harmful insects and pollinate local greenery.

When plants are grown to produce their own pesticides, like corn and tomatoes, we have to wonder as to what that does to our own bodies when we eat these foods, as studies on animals show the prolonged ingestion of these GM foods produce liver damage and reproductive failure. These new proteins also cause new allergens to be produced in food, slowing immune systems and causing animals and people to become sick. Starlink corn, a GM corn bred for cattle consumption and producing known allergens, has been repeatedly found in processed foods like Taco Bell's taco shells and over 300 other products, resulting in frequent recalls which the food companies try to hide from the public. Studies in the UK, where GMOs are looked at more skeptically, have shown that food related allergies have risen 50% in the last few years, making one wonder as to how food modifications may have come into play.

Now that I've been appropriately traumatized about what I've been unknowingly eating, I'm determined to only eat foods that are not genetically modified. Luckily, I learned that if you look at the PLU code (price lookup number), it can tell you the basics about what it is you're eating. Granted, this is only for produce, but at least it's a start.

• 5-digit number, beginning with the #9 = organic.
• 5-digit number, beginning with the #8 = GMO or genetically modified food.
• 4-digit number means grown by conventional (code for chemical) means.

Happy trails, my friends!

Outsourced on TV

Back in 2006 a movie came out called Outsourced, which was about an American man whose company was outsourced to India due to budget restraints, and he's sent to the call center to train the new call center. It was rather well done, IMO, and I really liked the humor and the romantic aspect, which is saying something since I am not much of a rom-com gal (I definitely prefer sci fi flicks). When NBC announced that they would be making a sitcom spin off of the movie for this fall, I took the news with a cautious optimism, deciding that even if the show was bad I could finally see a show with more than just the token Indian in it - after all, a show about an Indian call center should have a lot of Indians in it. :)

As of now only three episodes have aired, and while I have some small issues with some aspects, I am hoping that things will improve, as it is rather early in the season and I may need to give them some time. My main problem so far is in the writing, so I can only hope that they get all their stereotyped jokes out of the way and maybe turn to other outlets for humor. When they're not trying so hard to make things funny I feel that there are some really good parts of the show, so I do sense potential. Let's hope they live up to it.

Birthday Exhaustion

So, yesterday I joined the illustrious ranks of 22 year olds, or as my bff Ly calls them "People who have turned 11 twice". I don't know why that amused me as much as it did, but I had to share, so there ya go. Now, I'm not much of a birthday person, but as my day's activities were not what one would consider the norm for birthday celebrations, I found the whole experience rather enjoyable.

First, my Mommy came to my apartment around 11, and since I mentioned that I'm not much of a cake person, she decided to give me scotch treats instead, which I definitely approve of. So yummy. (I gotta be honest, I've eaten them all already. I couldn't help myself.) As April had a test, Mom and I got a bite to eat at Denny's, then mapped out where all we'd go on our day.

First we went to the Creation Museum, where they use Bible verses and such to try and explain science and disprove evolution. I got a LOT of their free pamphlets and had a fun time reading what they wrote and analyzing it from a scientific and religious scholar standpoint. I know I'm a nerd, live with it. :P Unfortunately we got beyond lost when trying to find the establishment, so we only got around an hour to see everything, which was definitely not enough time. I think I'm going to analyze some of the more interesting pamphlets I got from the museum, so everyone can experience the joys of what they're teaching.

After the Creation Museum we headed out to the Unarius Academy of Science, located in El Cajon. I have to say that for a UFO cult, I found them to be rather... bland. Sure, they talked about the galactic alliance and everything, but I was kind of expecting something a little more far out than the things that were ultimately said. Of course, everyone was in their 70's, so maybe they used to be more passionate about the subject back when they still had energy for that sort of thing.
When we left the UFO cult I thought my night was essentially over, but luckily a friend called and asked me if I needed a ride to the Convention Center for the Navratri garba, and I said Hells yeah I do!! We had a LOT of fun, dancing and checking everyone out, and by the time he dropped me off it was 1 in the morning. Needless to say, it took my remaining energy to get undressed and fall into bed. All in all, a rather successful day. :)

Navratri is Coming!

So tomorrow is the beginning of Navratri, the Nine Day festival worshiping some of the many different aspects of Shakti, the divine Mother Goddess. The first three days are devoted to aspects of Durga, the strong spiritual force who destroys our impurities when we worship her. The second three days are devoted to manifestations of Laksmi, who gives her devotees inexhaustable spiritual wealth. For the final three days devotion is given to the forms of Saraswati, the goddess of wisdom and the giver of all-around success in life. It is believed that all three are equally important in order to have a happy life, though certain days are more important in different regions, with cultural influences dictating which devotional festival day is the biggest.

I really like Navratri, for I feel it is a festival which is very empowering to women, as Divine Femininity is seen as key for happiness in one's lives and is therefore exonerated in one of Hinduism's most important festivals. When you take into account that this nine day festival is not held once, but often twice a year (once in spring, once again in autumn), the great importance that devotion to the feminine holds is more evident. In a society that has become increasingly patriarchal as a result of Imperial British influence and then again by Westernization, it is refreshing to see that at least some of the traditions that give importance to the power of femininity still remain today. We cannot let ourselves forget how inspirationally powerful these aspects of the Divine Female Energy can be, and how their power resides in every one of us, ready to be used to fight our own demons as needed.


Who doesn't love seeing THIS aspect of the power of women? I know I do!!

Dominos!!

Now normally, I am not a fan of pizza not made at home (the difference is amazing guys, you gotta go home made), but I often make a special exception for Domino's Pizza. Not only is their new recipe a vast improvement over the original, but with their 2-2 topping pizzas for $6 each promotion I can get enough food for several meals, which is great for the mornings I don't want to eat leftover daal for breakfast - leftover pizza is always yummy. :) The new garlic topping on the crust may make the pizza a little salty for my tastes, but as a result I always drink my recommended 8 glasses of water on those days, so I can't complain too much.

But by far the best aspect of ordering Domino's Pizza is the Pizza Tracker. The pizza tracker gives you current, up to date information as to the status of your order, saying things like "Greg put your pizza in the oven at 1:45 pm" or "Our delivery expert Matthew left the store with your order at 2:00 pm". As my friends and I have ordered from the same Domino's for the past few years, we've gotten to recognize most of the names on the Tracker, and will waste our time chatting about things like "Oh hey, Craig's making our pizza! He's a good kid. Last time he made my order my pizza had a lot of toppings, so I think we're in for a treat." It's also good for the employee, as our tipping amounts have grown exponentially now that we know who's making our order.

But of course, the best thing about ordering from Domino's is a chance to see my favorite delivery man, Shoaib. When my friend Heather and I order pizza and see that Shoaib is delivering, we know that our tip must now be even greater than originally planned, and I think he knows that we like to see him, as he probably has a good laugh at our silly antics. Needless to say, when I write my extensive comments in the online section right under the Pizza Tracker, I always manage to include nice things about my man Shoaib, even when he's not the one to take my order. What can I say, a gal's gotta look out for her man.

Now if you'll excuse me, I hear Matthew at the door, so I better go pick up my order!!

Why Rush?

I look at you, and now I can see
You've never realized what you are to me
Living each day as if it's our last
I feel as though we're moving too fast
I can't see why you act like this
As if every second is too precious to miss
Maybe you fear we'd soon be through
Don't you know I'd never do that to you?

I greatly treasure the moments we share
Though I know I often don't show that I care
If you were more patient soon you would know
I'd love nothing more for you to be my beau
But if moving faster is what you insist
You'll never know of the bliss that you missed.
So please my darling, relax and just wait
Time will come and your fears it will sate

Rain

So as a final way to thoroughly confuse myself and my fellow San Diegans, the weather gods decided to give us a rather lovely and unexpected thunderstorm today, with rain starting and stopping in bursts throughout the day and the sound of thunder serenading us continually. This is a drastic contrast to the dry 107 + weather we had on Monday, and is further evidence towards my argument that not even planet Earth knows what's going on anymore. Some say that it's global warming, others a sign of the apocalypse, but I think it's confusion on the part of everything on and including the planet which we live on.

Rain always puts me in a reminiscing mood, which I don't understand since I have no emotional attachment to anything precipitation related. But as a result of this induced sentimentality, here is a clip from a song I once enjoyed in my youth.




... Yes I liked Hanson. Don't judge me, if you were an eight year old girl you would too.

Happy Birthday RHPS

September 26, 1975 - a legend was born, and he wore gold lame hot pants. It's interesting to think that a film that was so pivotal in shaping my growing teen years came out over thirteen years before I was even born. For 35 years, people have been doing the Time Warp and throwing rice at the movie screens, giving in to the Creature of the Night, and I am sure they will be doing so for 35 years more.



For those who do not know, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a parody of B-movie sci-fi films, and surprisingly has had the longest running theatrical release in film history, making it one of the most financially successful midnight movies of all time. Starring future celebrities Tim Curry (Legend, It, Wolf Girl, etc), Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise, Dead Man Walking, etc), and Barry Bostwick (who I remember as the Mayor of Spin City), RHPS tells the story of two young lovers whose car breaks down in a storm. They go to the nearby *Castle* (this is set in Texas people), where they dance the Time Warp, see Dr Frankenfurter bring Rocky to life, give themselves over to pleasure, and end up taking part in a rather entertaining floor show. Of course, the Dr isn't just a mad scientist, he and his servants are really aliens on a mission, and in the end handman Riff Raff and his sister Magenta kill Frankenfurter, let the humans go, and raise the entire castle to return to their home. What's not to love?

If you haven't seen RHPS before, go out and rent it!! Today!!

Curry Craziness!!

I have been a cooking machine!! The past couple weeks have been hectic as my schedules have not fully balanced out yet, but luckily I've had time to get some cooking in, as I am trying my best to eat healthier and relieve myself of my dependency on quick, frozen foods. I have broken out of my comfort zone and tried several new recipes, and as this is my blog and I can do what I wish, I'm going to talk about them here.

Japanese Curry
The first dish I experimented with was Japanese Curry. I had bought a box of S&B Golden Curry (Medium-Hot) several months back, but I was too nervous to make it, as I didn't know how it would turn out. Luckily, an excess of mushrooms in my refrigerator encouraged me to give this a try, and I'm glad I did. Going off of the veggies available in my fridge, I used a pack (8 oz) of mushrooms, one medium-large onion, a good amount of shredded carrots, and a bell pepper. What I found interesting is after cooking the onion and adding the other veggies you add water and boil them instead of cooking them in a pan like a stir fry, and while I was a little worried as to how that'd turn out I must say it was really good. After you boil them you add pieces of the boxed curry mix, which turns the whole concoction brown and thickens the liquid. I ended up using the whole box, but I probably wouldn't need to next time, as I think I added too much water. The dish was very flavorful, and my roommate and I got several meals out of the experience.

Biryani Masala Rice
The night after I made Japanese curry Alay came over and took over my kitchen, making Miriam and me some Biryani Rice. I had already purchased the spice mix earlier, and he decided that it was acceptable enough to use, though he added additional spices as well. We chopped half an onion and some green chiles, and cooked them with the cumin seeds and other spices until the onion was softened. Then we added half a can of diced tomatoes, then 2 cups of cooked rice, adding spices and such til we felt it was good to eat. I think if I was to make this dish again I would add some carrots and potatoes, and maybe garnish with cashews.

Daal
As I am not a fan of letting half cut vegetables sit in the fridge, the next morning I decided to make some daal. I rinsed a cup of Masoor Dal (an orangey-red lentil), then boiled it in 2 cups of water so it'd get soft. I chopped the rest of my onion and cooked it with some garlic, then added the rest of the canned diced tomatoes and some spices. After the daal finished cooking I mixed them in with the rest of the ingredients, adding spices until I got something half way decent. In retrospect, I should have also added the leftover chiles, but it was fine as is.

Panang Curry

Finally, the other day I decided to try my hand at one of my favorite Thai dishes - Panang curry. In my usual style, I made WAY too much, and will be having leftovers for several days. I chopped 1 large onion, 2 potatoes, 1 green bell pepper, and added a lot of peas and shredded carrots. For the sauce I used 1 can of coconut milk, 1 can of coconut cream, 3 tbsp soy sauce, 4 tbsp peanut butter, garlic, ginger, a LOT of red Thai chili paste, and some lemon juice to cut some of the base heat. I also added in about 1/2 - 1 cup of cashews to help in adding some of the peanuty taste panang curry is known for, which also added the bit of salt that would have otherwise been added. If I was to make this again, I think I would buy some lemongrass and maybe add more peanut butter, but all in all it's rather yummy.

I don't know how this got so melodramatic

He stood at the helm, silent and reserved, ignoring the sting of the salty sea air on his skin and the blinding glare in his eyes from the sun reflecting off the ocean he has called home for so very long. As the captain of his vessel he would normally be on high alert, his eyes scanning the horizon for potential dangers both natural and man made as he would bark orders to the men who swore their loyalty to him, but today a somber tone tainted the energy of all the men aboard the ship, himself included. Yesterday's skirmish with a rival pirate ship resulted in loss of the young cabin boy whose job was to assist the cook, and while usually the loss of only one sailor would be seen as a blessing, no one felt much like celebrating.

Their rough lifestyle may have cost them the lives of many comrades over the years, but the lost of one so young was hard for the seasoned seafarers to bear. The young lad was no older than 12, and his passing caused a heavy melancholy to settle upon all those on board, each man taking this loss to heart in their own way, many recalling how young they were when they took to the sea, others thinking of the families they left behind when they chose this path.

The captain thought back to the family he left when he chose to be a pirate instead of being forced into the navy. His life as a merchant seaman was not glamorous, but it was simple, and he was blessed with a young and cheerful wife who gave him three beautiful children and filled his home with laughter and warmth. When he had left his oldest child was about the age of the young lad who died that day, and while he knew that over 10 years had passed since he last saw them, it was hard to think of his children as adults. He wondered how his wife fared after his leaving, if she married another and filled that man's home with happiness, or if she had to raise their children alone, struggling to make ends meet. He wondered as to the fate of his children, if they got their schooling and made something of themselves or if they turned to the hard streets and endured a fate similar to the young boy on board. Did his wife hate him for abandoning the family, or did she understand and managed to forgive him during all these years?

Shaking himself from these cyclical worries, the captain pushed the memories of his past back into the recesses of his mind and, taking a deep breath, traveled down the steps to his crew, ordering all the men to gather and for the quartermaster to have a few men go down and retrieve the body of their fallen ship mate. He said a few words over the body, as close to a prayer as these men could create, and the cook stood and said a few words about the character of the young man lost, as he knew him best. Then, after a moment of silence, the captain gave the signal for the body to be released over the rail of the ship, the young boy's body becoming one with the sea below them. The captain then released them, reminding them there was still much work to be done before the day was done.

Returning to his quarters for the evening, the captain removed his hat and lay on his bed, musing over what actions he would need to take in order to retain order over his crew. Though he longed to be like the other men, leaning on each other in hard times like these and being able to joke around when times were good, he knew that he must perform the role which had been assigned to him, showing no emotions and allowing no one to see how life affected him. There was no other life for him than that of a pirate, no matter how he may desire otherwise at times. He may live the rest of his days a fugitive from the law, never able to see his loved ones again, but he gained a respect and love for the freedom and passion of the sea that would remain with him all his days. For better or for worse, a pirate's life for he.

The Current Roomie

So this summer I changed roommates, going from party-girl Nevada to the super-quiet Miriam. While at first it was unsettling to be sharing my living space with a girl I had only met twice before, I've quickly become attached to the lovely Miss Miriam, and greatly miss her when she goes to her mother's house for weekends. While she may be quiet, she and I have much to talk about when we finally see each other after long days of school and work, and while our schedules rarely overlap, when they do we always seem to enjoy the time spent together.

I think one of the things I like best about this new roomie is that she and I never have to argue for shower time, as she's always waking up super early in the morning. I hated planning my morning out for a certain schedule only to have Nevada waltz in and take a super long shower right when I was planning to. Going to school with wet hair is not attractive. It's also nice that the friends who have met her all seem to like her, feeling she is a much more put together and mature gal.

I was going to write a lot more about the new transition, but I seem to have blanked on all the other stuff I was going to write. All I want to say is that I love my roomie, and am glad to have found her.

ZOMG Poem Time

Basking in the heat of the sun high above
My heart is warmed and turns to thoughts of love
I wonder where my true love may be
And how long I must wait until he finds me
Will ours be a love instantaneously fierce,
Or will time need to pass before Cupid's arrows pierce?

Soon I will find my lover who I can hold and kiss
And whenever we'd be apart my touch he would miss
But most importantly he'd desire to talk for hours
Sharing our minds, our chats time will devour
And when night falls he will hold me close
Showing me it is my closeness he desires the most.

I yearn for a love which will flourish in time
Letting me know he will always wish to be mine
Of my attentions he would never be tired
The heat of our passion matching the hottest of fires
Upon seeing him beside me my love will overflow
And our mutual desires we'll never fear to show.

Ouchies!!

So around this time last week I had started to feel like there was a bruise on my upper left arm, but brushed it off because I probably DID have a bruise, considering how often I get injured at work. And when a rash appeared on my arm and bumps on my back on Monday, I ignored that as well, thinking the arm rash was from the heat and the bumps on my back merely being the result of a particularly dimwitted decision of mine involving a passionate encounter and the floor of my bedroom. However, as the week went on the rash on my arm developed rather painful bumps, and the bumps on my back began to itch as well as hurt.

Unfortunately I worked Monday - Wednesday, so I had to wait until Thursday to reach a doctor to see what was up. I still assumed it was a heat rash gone wrong, and was hoping that he'd prescribe a hydro cortisone cream to help with the itchiness or something. I was very wrong. Once the doctor heard all my symptoms (rash with painful bumps, headache, nausea, etc) he took one look and said with confidence "it's shingles". He checked them over again just to be sure, then prescribed me some anti virals, not to cure me, as shingles is a condition which must run its course, but to prevent postherpetic neuralgia, or lingering pain in the nerves where shingles took place.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, shingles is a condition caused by the same virus that causes chicken pox. After one has chicken pox, the virus can remain dormant in certain nerves of your body. When you're exposed to great amounts of stress, the virus can be reactivated, causing varying amounts of pain depending on which nerve it hits and how severely. I was relatively lucky in that it's not in a very obvious and painful place, like my face, and that it is easily covered for when I go to work. It's not contagious for people who have ever had chicken pox or the chicken pox shot, and if you never had the disease then don't touch my rash because then you WILL get chicken pox.

Of course it is after I get sick that I learn there's a shingles vaccine now on the market, so I recommend that everyone go get it, because this sucks. I only hope that it takes the average 2-3 weeks to recover and not any longer - sometimes it can take months or years to get better!! :(

School Has Begun

So I have just begun my second week of classes, and I feel I am in an odd space where I feel things are busier now than they will be later in the semester, which is usually not the case. Work last year was incredibly scarce on my part, so this recent influx of hours is both a blessing and a curse. I am glad to not be suffering from a lack of financial security that existed in my 6 hour work weeks, but last week's 22 hours were rather exhausting, especially when you take into account that these are all evening hours, keeping me from doing homework except in the morning hours before classes. But I know that once the newbies are trained for their posts the work load will decrease significantly, and I will reach a more reasonable 12 hours, which will definitely help me feel more relaxed.

I also started my early class observation for my teaching last Friday, as I don't have classes then. At first I thought I would be very bored sitting in a high school classroom all day, but I learned a lot about classroom dynamics, and Dr Cole was very helpful in showing me the new programs and telling me his rationalization behind a lot of the things he does. I think I'll be able to write a lot more than the 5 pages needed for my post observation report, as I truly enjoyed all I learned in the class. I believe I will visit Mr Peterson's class this Friday, and I greatly anticipate seeing all I will learn in there.

The Game

So I was recently introduced to the concept of "The Game", in that there is a game called The Game which everyone is playing whether they know it or not, and if you know you're playing the game then you've automatically lost, the only way to win at The Game being that you never know you're playing it. You cannot NOT play The Game, and there is never a time in which you are not playing.

While I know this is mainly an activity created to frustrate friends and strangers alike, the transcendental undertones to this "Game" intrigue me. In our day to day lives there are the roles of "games" which we play, and more often then not the more we try to control these aspects the worse they turn out. For those of us who play the "game" of romance, the effort to either create a romantic atmosphere or to have the other person fall in love with us more often then not leads to heartbreak, as does trying to limit the affection given so that your partner likes you but not "too much".

Likewise, those of us playing the "game" of trying to obtain a successful job may often find that setting too many limits will keep us from finding a career that we would truly be happy in. It is only when we forget the desire for success and instead focus on finding fulfilling work that we will truly win, just like true success in the relationship game is when you give up control and instead let whatever emotions occur as they will. We must forget the purpose of the game in order to win the game, and just like in "The Game", it is only when you realize you're playing that you lose, because it is then that you try to control aspects which lie out of your control.

Sorry for rambling here, and sorry for those who have now "Lost The Game" as a result of my musings.

Why Some Friends Are Not Cool

So, a little over a year ago something happened regarding a close friend which I still haven't gotten over. While some may believe that I am holding on to past issues and shouldn't let them affect my current life, I believe that we all get over our past traumas in different ways, and I shouldn't feel bad if I'm still not fully accepting of the experience.

So in the summer of 2009 I was in the middle of a very bad relationship, and through the key manipulation of certain insecurities I have this man managed to convince me that while he loved me, I was a fat, worthless American slut who could never be happy with how things were in my life because everyone around me was just trying to use me, cuz that was all I was good for. I know now that I never should have let him say these things to me, but I was at a vulnerable point in my life and a part of me honestly thought that he was right.

As you can imagine, this put me in a very dark place emotionally, which culminated one night when I was drunk at a party, and decided that taking a bottle of pills would be a good way to make it all end. I didn't find any pills, and decided to settle for sitting on the floor of her kitchen and crying. Meanwhile, two of my friends were in a drunken argument over the male friend's desire for a blow job and the other friend's desire to sleep and not give him one. The male friend then helped me get up off the floor, and took me into the family room, which was empty.

Between drinking and crying, I wasn't fully aware of what was going on, and had figured that he was just moving me onto a nicer sitting area, and when he kissed me I thought he was just trying to help me feel better, which made perfect sense in drunk land. It wasn't until he unbuttoned his pants that I started to think something was odd, and when he tried to push me down I looked at him confused, saying "I don't wanna". At this he scoffed, drunkenly slurring that he knew I wanted to do it, that I've wanted him for years (which is the opposite of true), and that he was going to give me what I wanted. He shoved my head down there again, and as I was emotionally broken down and felt as though I obviously no longer had a right to stand up for what I wanted, I gave up on arguing.

The next morning he apologized profusely for what happened, saying he was really drunk and he didn't know what he was thinking and he couldn't remember much about that night anyway, and he asked if we could just pretend things never happened and never talk about it to anyone, which I agreed to because I really didn't want to have to deal with having to make things with our mutual friends awkward. Fast forward to last summer, when at a 4th of July party this male friend ended up telling me that many of our friends "knew" about what happened, though he told many of them that we got drunk and "fooled around", making it into some thing that he and I did where I came off as being slutty and needy and he came off as being a guy who "gave into his urges".

I was hurt, and I was mad, and suddenly all of the negative emotions I had been holding back about the event came flooding back into my conscious mind as I now had to deal with the feeling of being used but also of being betrayed by someone who I thought I had trusted. Luckily he soon moved far enough that I didn't have to deal with him, and his actions towards another friend have convinced me that he is an aggressive jerk who will likely lose all contact with the friends I interact with. I dropped all contact with the friends who he told his version of events to, and so I hope that I can once again learn to get over everything, though this time I feel it will be longer, as I didn't deal with it the first time around.

I know that there are people out there whose assault stories are worse than mine, but I felt that I finally had to say my side of what happened so I no longer feel like I'm always in the wrong. I may have lost my trust in a friend, but I know I won't lose faith in them all.

Bend it Like Beckham

For some reasons, Bend it Like Beckham is one of my favorite movies of all time. I just keep watching it over and over again. I love how low key the movie is while still managing to be funny and charming, and the fact that the dad manages to make me teary eyed every time I watch it doesn't hurt. After all, every girl needs a good cry every now and again. I've started to become quite the soccer fan these past few years, and every time I watch this film I appreciate the game more and more, giving me the needed soccer fix in between FIFA games (sometimes I get tired of watching soccer in Spanish, k?).

Bend it Like Beckham has two shining stars in its cast - a young Keira Knightly and the lovely Miss Parminder Nagra, who is the main character of the film. Parminder Nagra is a British Indian, and Bend it Like Beckham was her first acting role, followed soon after by a role in Ella Enchanted and after that a six year stint on ER, which is way awesome! I can't wait to see what else she'll be starring in :)

What Makes Ones Identity?

For the past couple of days I've been reading "Made in America" a rather fascinating book about the lives of immigrant students in the American school system. They focus on this one school in California, giving perspectives of the new immigrated ESL students, minority students who are fluent in English and in regular classes, and the "normal" students who are white/black and see themselves as fully American. It was really interesting to see how these three groups of students perceived each other and the school they all attended, and how they all worked to find peace between their ethnic identity, school societal politics, and what they felt was right.

I originally picked up the book because I thought it may help prepare me for when I teach later on by helping me see possible perspectives my students may be coming into my class with, but as I was reading I found myself comparing the students with myself and my friends back when we were in high school. While I think that my school did rather well with integrating the needs of the immigrant students, providing a good number of ESL and bilingual classes, I do remember that some invisible lines were drawn as to where certain students went. For example, I knew not to take Tagalog as my foreign language because I'd be one of the only people in the class who didn't hear it at home, and I was also very aware that while I could take regular Dance PE, I couldn't take Ballet Folklorico no matter how interesting I thought it would be.

While I hung out with a diverse group of friends ethnically speaking, most of the people I spent time with grew up in the same town as me, and those who immigrated to the US acted rather American now that I think about it. I never really thought much about people's ethnic backgrounds til they did something which would remind me of it, like Ashley speaking in Spanish when she called her Mom or Kathy speaking in Tagalog to some of the other girls in our PE class, or when Ly got mad when the teacher didn't talk about the US' Japanese internment camps during WWII.

Thinking back on it now, I wonder what that meant, that I was completely oblivious to the backgrounds of my friends. Either I'm an incredibly oblivious individual, or I live my life assuming that everyone's family is different, so I don't notice cultural differences as I figure it's part of the "everyone's different" aspect of life.

Chili and Cornbread!! OMG!!

So for the past few days I've been debating on making chili from scratch, and today finally became the day where I stopped procrastinating and did it. I looked at some recipes online to get a sense of cooking times, and pretty much went off what I had in my apartment.

1 rather large yellow onion, finely chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 bag of Gardenstart's mock ground beef
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1/2 bag of frozen corn
1 package of chili spice mix, with added chili powder, black pepper, and a lot of garlic

I cooked the onion for about 5 minutes with the garlic I had in the fridge, then put in the bell peppers and the Gardenstart. I let that cook til the frozen meat was nice and hot, then added the spices and the beans and corn. I probably simmered it for about 45 minutes, then ate it with some cornbread I made from a mix (Marie Callender's Honey Bread Cornbread Mix).

The chili was decent enough, though next time I think I'd put in the corn same time as the mock meat so they can get a bit softer, and I really need to put in some more spices next time. I hear chili is a dish that is always better the next day, so I guess I'll see if tomorrow's serving will make me think differently. I definitely needed more chilies in my chili, and I think I'll need some corn flour so I can thicken the liquid instead of just cooking most of it out.

One Week!! Yay!!

It is with a happy heart that I anticipate the end of the summer school session. While I have met many fun people and had many enjoyable experiences, these classes have finally taken their emotional toll, and I eagerly await the end so that I may rest and prepare for the semester ahead. This second semester of Spanish has been particularly hard for me, and I cannot wait to have my instructor from first semester back to teach me the final Spanish lesson in a 16 week setting instead of a 5 1/2 week one.

I now find myself more preoccupied with planning my 11 days of freedom instead of studying for my final. My emotional investment in this class has reached its end, and I cannot wait for the glorious days of freedom to come. I forsee days of thrifting, sleeping in, and possibly getting over my fears and attending temple by my lonesome. A girl can dream, right?

Inception OMG

Last Sunday I was studying for my midterm with Dalinda, who I seem to be hanging out with all the freaking time now. After we were done reviewing verb tenses and such, she decided that I didn't have anything else to do today (yes, she decided it. Guess I should be grateful that I didn't have anything to do), so she took me to the mall up in Grossmont, where we saw Inception.


Now, I came into this movie not really expecting much. I know everyone was saying that it was going to be so amazing and blow your mind and blah blah blah, but all the hype did was make me come in expecting to see the same stuff that everyone said blew their mind in other movies. While I left the movie with a fully intact, unblown mind (and thank goodness for that, I like using my mind after all), I was pleasantly surprised with the overall quality of the film. DiCaprio always surprises me with how well he acts, and the more he ages the more attractive he becomes, which is interesting since he's nowhere near my type yet I somehow manage to still find him good looking.

I don't want to say too much about the movie, cuz I hate people who give spoilers, but all I'll say is that I've had dreams trippier then the ones in Inception, and the "twists" were all things that I feel have been done before. It's ideal for seeing in theaters where the special effects seem more impressive, but is one of those which really isn't good enough on its own to buy for home viewing, at least in my opinion. All in all, I'd give it a solid B.

Specialization is for insects

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein

Have we as a society forgotten the important skills which one should have in life? I think so. It makes me sad to see college students, people who are supposed to be intelligent beings, unable to perform the simplest of tasks like boil water for pasta or work a washing machine. We spend so much time trying to get our children to absorb the "important" lessons like history or advanced mathematics that we forget to teach them how to perform the important, simple tasks that we need in day to day life. I've met people getting their masters degrees in sciences like computer science and engineering who can do amazing things in their field, yet don't know the proper way to hold a hammer.

I understand that in this highly globalized society we have too much information to learn and not enough time to learn it, but there are some things which I feel people should have learned at a young age. I almost wish there was a mandatory class for freshmen entering college entitled Common Sense 101, teaching them the important information that I seem to lecture my friends about on a regular basis - you don't ingest dairy if you have a fever or congestion problems (it curdles in your stomach and increases the amount of phlegm in your throat), just because people in commercials don't rinse dishes before they put them in the dishwasher doesn't mean you can do it too, and when you're stacking a bookshelf you start from the bottom shelf with the heaviest things and work your way up.

I challenge every one of us to find the places in life where we are lacking usable skills, and work our hardest to fix this blind spot. I think I'm going to learn how to change a tire. :) Maybe that will give me incentive to learn how to drive.

Inspirational Story of the Week

Reposted from Hinduism Today, hope they don't mind:

AHMEDABAD, INDIA, June 27, 2010: Khimjibhai Prajapati, 64 and a beggar in Mehsana for a decade, a few days ago donated clothes to 11 poor hearing and speech-impaired girls at the Shrimati Kesarbai Kilachand School for the Deaf, to the astonishment of the school’s staff.

It was the first time ever that a beggar had walked into the school to share his savings. An unkempt Khimjibhai in tattered, unwashed clothes, limped through the school gates on crutches and placed the brand new clothes in the hands of 11 eager girls. He had used his savings of around US$65 to buy the clothes.

Khimjibhai begs outside the Simandhar Swami Jain Temple in Mehsana and outside the Hanuman Temple. “I just need two meals a day and some money to send back to my ailing wife in Rajkot. Apart from this, whatever I earn I use to buy food for poor, hungry people. Since a long time I wished to do something for girls and I am happy to donate for them,” he said.

http://www.hinduismtoday.com/modules/xpress/hindu-press-international/2010/07/20/the-beggar-who-gave-alms-to-the-poor/

Meditation?

It always starts out the same. I find myself floating in a void, everything around me empty. My body pulses with the energy of the cosmos, and I let myself bask in the total power which I wield. I slowly go through the various forms of energy, bathing my body in their light and letting it permeate the emptiness so that in can reach everything seen and unseen, emitting and absorbing as I go through the color spectrum - red for love and passion, orange for the energy that allows us to function, yellow for the happiness and joy that makes life worth while, green for the healing life force that lies all around us, blue for the serenity that arises from self realization, and finally violet for the creative inspiration and intuitiveness that makes us truly divine beings.

After the last of the colors is brought back into my being, I feel the cosmic energy churning within my being, and so I release the white hot light into the void, feeling the change as everything is created around me. When the extraneous light dissipates, I find myself in the same place I always do- floating in a pool, unusually calm considering the cascading waterfall to which it is attached. I soak for awhile, enjoying the comfort of the cooling waters below me and the warming sun above me. Finally, I swim to shore, where I emerge fully dry and walk among the pristine rain forest that surrounds me. I always know exactly where I must travel, and although I always walk in different directions for different amounts of time, I always reach the same clearing, where I see him.

He is always meditating, and looks exactly how he is portrayed in images when he is a yogi - his black hair long and matted, adorned with the crescent moon, tiger skin wrapped around his waist, his body covered in ashes and surrounded by snakes. I sit down across from him, knowing the serpents pose no danger to me, and meditate with him as long as he feels is needed. It feels as though eons go by, but it still feels like too short a time. When the time of silence is seen as enough, he opens his eyes, and I instinctively know to open mine as well. He never speaks, but he never needs to - everything I need to know is automatically given to me, my questions answered before I can even ask. It is hard to know how long we sit and look at each other, but when he feels I've learned all I can for the time he touches my forehead and I awake, my entire being filled with feelings of serenity and love.

Sometimes there are slight changes - the presence of Nandi, the amount of snakes present, once I climbed a mountain to meditate with him, and once Shakti was there as well - but the outcome is always the same. I always find myself with the answers to my questions, a renewed sense of self worth, and a feeling of peace and love which is tied to the power that exists within my being.

I know that this is not how most people meditate, and I even doubt that meditation is an accurate term to describe the intricacies of what I experience, but I wouldn't give it up for the world. I know there are some who may mock my description of my experience with what I consider as the divine, but I refuse to let that fear of judgment hold me back any longer. I am not ashamed of my religiosity, and I wish to share my experience so that others may feel like sharing theirs as well.

Rhyme Time

I'm being drawn quickly, deeply down
Down to the core I sink and I drown
Diving deep into the hot obsession
Desiring the sweet molten passion
So that I may enjoy the state of bliss
That emerges from that ecstatic sweet kiss.

I find my spirit being drawn high up to the sky
Shooting upward like a rocket soaring on by
Flying freely among the planets and stars
My mind can forget my heart's many scars
How can my mind encounter such a blinding eclipse
Whenever there is a meeting of his and my lips?

How can sensibilities even dare to compare
When I constantly feel like I'm floating on air?
I now feel I can defy all of my fears
And no longer do I need to shed any tears
I'm starting to feel this is more than just lust
And instead he is someone my heart can trust.

Wow

One of the groups I follow on Twitter is a site called Scarleteen, a site providing fresh and real outlooks towards sex for youth and those not fitting the hetero or gendernormative standards. While I always love the articles they post, an excerpt from "An Immodest Proposal" really struck out to me. In it the writer is talking about a healthier perspective for young women in regards to their first relationships and sexual experiences, and this really opened a paradigm shift for me.

"Without the assurance or expectation that she has an age-old script to follow that wasn’t written by her, she not only knows she will have to be more creative sexually than women before her, she’s looking forward to it. She has no expectation of being asked to perform or of asking a partner to perform: her expectations are all about both of them engaging in expression, not performance. She’s not expecting porn or a romance novel: she’s expecting an interpretive dance. That also helps a lot when it comes to feeling comfortable about her body from the onset: she knows that the unique way that she looks is part of what makes sex so individual for her and her partners."

If you were to ask me I would probably say that I'm a rather enlightened gal when it comes to these things, but this paragraph made me realize how far I am from being truly comfortable in my own body. I now realize how much I've let myself suffer by refusing to be comfortable with my body being how it is, and how my wishing to be different kept me from being comfortable with partners who said they liked me the way I am. This will be my new project - to learn how to reject the scripts of those who came before me and find my own way so that I can be the best partner possible, in and out of the bedroom. To remove myself from fear could open the door to a whole new world, one which I hope will be more fulfilling then the world I'd be leaving behind.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/an_immodest_proposal

Tripping the Light Fantastic

Tripping the Light Fantastic

Sometimes the world tries to trip me
To drag me down in an emotional undertow
It revels in insecurities and in pain
Trying to remove the happinesses in the day
Til you become one of the crowd
Alone and without direction
But darling, as long as I am here beside you
I shall be tripping the light fantastic.

There are those who spend their days
Finding ways to destroy others' lives
Over and over they wear themselves out
Never allowing joy to fully penetrate their being
Unsatisfied with themselves, they torment others
Reveling in the adage, “Misery loves company”
But darling, as long as I am here beside you
I shall be tripping the light fantastic.


Some people claim to help others
But are only helping themselves
Day after day they let their ego and greed
Control their lives and the lives of those around them
Til they poison others to live as they
Never being able to enjoy others successes
But darling, as long as I am here beside you
I shall be tripping the light fantastic.

Rant Time

So this summer I had to take Spanish classes to fulfill my foreign language requirement, as SDSU decided to drop the foreign language I was originally taking. Not only did this put a major kink in my original summer plans (traveling, taking major related classes, sleeping in, etc) I tried my best to keep a positive attitude and so far managed to enjoy the time spent with my classmates as best I can.

My main problem with these classes now is that we're being "taught" by grad students instead of actual professors. Grad students!! While my first teacher lectured relatively well and I managed to understand the material with relative ease, this current teacher is driving me up the wall. Instead of lecturing us on the material she just has us do group work for the entire class period, and when no one around you understands the material you all end up more confused then you were before. She refuses to lecture us no matter how much we try to tell her that we DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, and she not only assigns random projects and questions to write out, but approximately 30 homework assignments to be due each week, which we are all behind on because she couldn't get the site code to work for the first week and a half.

So now we're not being taught but expected to write 10 questions of our own per week, finish the past week's homework along with the current week's, do writing assignments, make a blog in Spanish about a Spanish speaking country and record vocal exercises, all without her ever explaining what the hell it is we're doing. And this is all in our own time, and doesn't include the large amounts of classwork that she expects us to finish at home if we don't finish in class, which we never do. I'm not a violent person, but this lady makes me feel like abandoning my rule against violence so I can punch her hard in the face.

Every time I ask a question about something I don't understand she gets this self righteous smirk on her face and tells me to ask the question to her in Spanish because "This is a Spanish class and if you don't try to speak it you'll never learn" and I just want to slap her so hard and tell her that if she actually did her freakin job and TAUGHT us instead of acting like a smart ass little bitch then maybe I'd respect her enough to honor her stupid little requests. I did NOT pay $1800 so some little tart would make me do group work all day and judge any and all mistakes I make as if I'm a few IQ points from being brain dead.

This anger isn't healthy for me. I need to find a way to relax before I snap at someone.

A Week of Dates

So, I have recently entered an exclusive dating arrangement with a very charming young gentleman. While it has only been a week and a half, we have already gone on five very lovely dates. Why haven't I written about these dates you ask? Frankly, I haven't had the time! And so, I give you the dating story so far:

Friday the 9th - We agreed to meet up for dinner and to chat. He picked me up, and we went to "The Loving Hut", a Taiwanese vegan restaurant founded by this very nice Buddhist cult lady. The food was decent, and I talked way too much, but apparently he didn't mind because after the meal he still wanted to hang out. We went to the beach in Coronado, then a bar in Old Town for drinks, and finally stopped off at Denny's for dessert (he had a brownie sundae, I had french fries). I ended up getting back to my apartment around 1:30 am, exhausted and happy. He was a total gentleman - walked me to the door and didn't try any funny business.
Monday the 12th - We both had busy weekends, but happened to find ourselves online Monday morning. We decided to meet up for coffee at 2, then went to his place for pool. After being at his place for like, hours, we went for a late-ish dinner at Buca di Beppo, where I got to have gnocchi, perhaps one of my fave dishes of all time. He convinced me to take both his and my leftovers (he had eggplant parmesan), and since I got home close to midnight, I was too tired to argue.
Tuesday the 13th - When I was in class he kept texting about how we need to hang out again, so after work we met up and played some more pool at his place. We then decided to go to a movie, so we grabbed a quick meal at my fave place of all time - Taco Bell :p - and then we headed off to see "Toy Story 3" in 3D. This was my second time seeing the movie but I managed to cry again, and when he realized that I had been crying he declared it was the highlight of the evening. I told him he sucked.Thursday the 15th - We went Downtown and walked around, ate dinner at the Spaghetti Factory, and talked. It was really nice to get to know him better, and once again I got both of our leftovers. I told him that I'm going to get unbearably fat if he keeps taking me to these Italian places, and he just laughed and told me I was beautiful. I like this boy. No one calls me beautiful. This was also the day that we had "The Talk", where I pretty much asked if he thought we were dating and if he was also dating other people. He gave the right answers, so now we are exclusively dating but not in a relationship as we both agreed that's too serious a label for something so early.Saturday we just hung out at my place, watching TV and chatting. I eventually fell asleep, since I apparently can't watch TV with people without doing so. Sunday he came over and did work on his laptop while I studied my Spanish verbs, then we went to Sipz, where I finally got to eat my Thai Coconut Curry, which I've been craving for two months but no one's taken me to get.

He seems like a very sweet gentleman, and I hope that things work out well in the following weeks. It's been exciting for me to find a man who I truly enjoy spending time with and seems to enjoy spending time with me just as much. I haven't really dated much after Abhi, so it's kind of nice to be back out there. He's also one of the few Desi boys I've met who hasn't teased me about my religious choices, which is rather refreshing. He did laugh a bit when he saw my giant Nataraja statue, but it was more of a surprise laugh then a "ha ha silly white girl with her statues" laugh. And he feeds me, which is always more than good in my book. :)